Once the vows are spoken and the honeymoon is over, it sometimes happens that couples start to become dissatisfied with their marriage. The exciting whirlwind of romantic courtship gives way to a more mundane day-to-day existence. They no longer see their spouse on their "best behavior"; instead, on the odd occasion, they see their spouse at their worst! It's not surprising that some may start to second guess their marriage, or the person they married.

"What if I had married Ted?" a wife might wonder. "He wouldn't try to tell me how to spend my money!" "Maybe I should have married Barbara" a husband thinks. "She would never nag me to clean the house".

It's a deceptively soothing thought ... if only your spouse were more like so-and-so, life would be grand! But would that be true? Most likely not - unless you're in a marriage with someone, you have no idea how they would act! In fact, there's a very good chance that "the one that got away" had character traits that would irritate you as much, if not more, than the person you married! Try to resist the temptation to day-dream about "what ifs" and don't forget - you broke up with them for a reason!

It is the same when comparing your marriage with someone else's. You may feel yours pales next to others; everyone else just seems happier! For example, your neighbors Nick and Leslie appear to be the perfectly married couple: he's constantly bringing her flowers and she is the perfect house-wife who has dinner on the table as soon as he steps into the front door. They're like Ozzie and Harriet!

But remember, you don't see 90% of what goes on between two people. The real story might be that Nick constantly brings flowers home because he was out drinking with the boys again, and Leslie might be a seething mass of resentment because she is "stuck" at home while Nick goes out and has fun. It's even possible that those flowers may be the very thing that triggers their third massive fight of the week. It could be they are both totally miserable and would be astonished that anyone thought their marriage was perfect.

The point is, you just never know! Comparing your marriage to anyone else's is an exercise in absolute futility. It's much better to focus on your own marriage and try to figure out what works for you and your spouse.

You're a team, don't let "relationship envy" get in the way of a better future!