Before you start let me make a few points clear.
(I promise, we don't sell anything)

First, both you and your spouse have to agree that your marriage could be better; that doesn't mean that you're having problems, just that it could be improved upon.

Secondly, you have to agree to apply the ideals in the experiment on a daily basis for 3 days, regardless of what comes up.

Third, at the end of the 3 days I'd like you to come back here and comment on how the experiment worked for you. You will have to register to comment, but I promise you we won't send you any email or share your information with anyone(if you can't register at least drop me an email and I will post your comments on the site).

I need honest results here and promise honesty in return.

OK, here's the experiment.

I am going to write this from my (male) perspective, mainly because I get tired of saying spouse!

Everything you do with your wife in the next week, I'd like you to follow the principle of "Put Her Needs First". Wives, the same thing goes for you, put your husband's needs first. Remember, follow The Golden Rule!

Every time you get into an argument, or disagree, or even when your just conversing, before you speak ask yourself this - "Is there any way that what I am about to say can have a negative impact on this conversation?" If you answer yes, then wait until you can phrase what you need to say in such a way as so that it's not detrimental to the conversation.

This is something you must remain conscious of at all times when dealing with your wife, or doing things on your own that may impact your relationship. You will most likely forget to do this occasionally; if so, don't worry, there's a fix for that!

Simply look at your wife and say "I'm sorry, I said that wrong and it was detrimental. Give me a moment to rephrase that". Wives, you are obligated to ignore the previous fault and wait for your husband to say what he was trying to say to you in a more positive way.

Now there may be some things you simply can't put first for your wife - if you gotta go pee, she's just gonna have to wait for you to bring her her slippers....

Use common sense, but do take the ideal as literally as you can.

The basic principle of the experiment is that by each of you putting each others needs first, your needs are always taken care of. If your needs are taken care of you're going to feel less pressure, have more positive interaction together, and you will grow closer through this process.

That's it. Sounds simple, huh? I also encourage you to visit the forums here on the site if you run into problems or aren't sure about something.


Barry